I'm not even going to kid myself; I just leaned against my own bathroom door and gave myself a minor heart conflargction* before realizing it was squeaking. I'm pathetic, I know.
*Not a real word, but if it was this would be the dictionary entry
conflargction [cun - flarg - ction]
verb
1. (pertaining to the heart) To beat rapidly, quickly, and thumpily. Like when Rihanna felt her heart beating. She could feel it through her chest. Or that mini heart-attack you get when you think you miss the step on a staircase, but it turns out you were just on the lowest step and now you're a scared breathless doofus standing an the bottom of a flight of stairs.
Origin:
2012; Me
Synonyms:
1. See palpitation
Anyways...
If a guy you've been crushing on (yeah, that mega hot college guy) for over a year, pokes you on Facebook out-of-the-blue, what should you do?
a) Poke him back
b) a
c) b
Then he pokes you back. Poke him back guurrrl! Then he pokes you back again! Thus begins a Poke War; but this is different from normal Poke Wars, this isn't some mundane Poke War with your friendzoned Dude Friends, or those thirteen year old girls that have nothing better to do. This means something. This could lead to something more, ya know?
But wait, you're tired and it's one in the morning. You need to sleep so you can wake up at the timely fashion of twelve pm the next day. But how can you make this mean something? It's up to you now. What do you do? What do you DO?!
I've read enough issues of Seventeen magazine to know that this is the perfect opportunity to send him a message. A Facebook message. Now do it gurl!
"But what do I say?"
Tell him you've had fun with the poke war, but you gotta hit the sack and you'll message him later.
After about twenty minutes and countless revisions of the previous sentence, I finally came up with something for you. It's genius, if I do say so myself. And I do. It's sweet; it doesn't convey that you're tired of him, just tired in general; it's slightly flirty; and it leaves the air of mystery, something I've heard guys dig. I'm proud of myself on this one. Now I'm not gonna share exactly what I typed, for the sake of privacy, but trust me; it was good.
Now you have to send it.
"Would you click the button for me?"
It would be my pleasure. Mwah-ha-ha-haaa!
And all's well that ends well, when he replies back good-natured-ly with a smiley. You're over the Moon and almost too excited to actually get to sleep. But you do, because how else can wake up at noon if you don't sleep on the way there?
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